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The Quiet Pour No. 02: On the beauty of learning and letting go.
A few weeks ago, I was on service at the hospital, and on Saturday morning before starting rounds, I did a tea tasting for my residents. As physicians, we work in such a high pressure, high stress environment that I felt we all deserved a small treat. Something simple to help us pause and find a moment of grounding together.
I steeped Herbs & Kettles Assam Golden Needle, followed by a GABA Oolong from our friend’s tea company, Anna Ye Tea, which specializes in Vietnamese teas. With a small teapot, a fair cup, sturdy tasting cups, hot water in a flask, and loose leaf tea, we gathered around the same table we usually round at. For the first thirty minutes before starting rounds, we shared a quiet, simple tea ceremony together.
That tea tasting ended up being far more relaxing and enjoyable than I had expected.
They enjoyed talking about the aroma and flavor of the teas, how the tea made them feel, what their tea habits were at home, and how different it felt from drinking coffee. For a brief moment, we weren’t rushing or thinking three steps ahead. We were just present. It was calm. It was human. And I’m really glad I did it.
Imposter syndrome shows up constantly in medicine. Even after years of training, there’s this lingering feeling of not being ready. Am I capable? Am I good enough? Do I really deserve to be taking care of these patients? Will I miss something? Am I adequate?
I felt the same way about tea.
When I started Herbs & Kettles, I pursued the ITMA tea sommelier certification because I felt I needed to know everything. There was a deep sense of imposter syndrome there, too, feeling like I needed credibility not only for others, but for myself. To better understand processing methods, growing regions, cultivars, seasons, oxidation levels, and steeping parameters.
I wanted to get it all right.
Tea, in many ways, is much like wine. There’s the region and terroir, the year it was produced, the cultivar, the season, the climate, the processing method, and finally how it’s brewed or steeped, which adds an entirely new layer. As we source teas today, every new region I visit brings an overwhelming amount of detail. There is so much to learn about each harvest and each farm. Before we ever share a tea with our customers, there’s a lot of research, tasting, and time spent understanding not just the tea itself, but the farmer behind it.
When I first became a tea sommelier, everything felt very rigid. Tea had to be steeped at the exact temperature, for the exact amount of time, with precise ratios of leaves to water. I approached it scientifically. Everything had to be done perfectly. I spent hours reading and researching, trying to master every detail.
Interestingly, once you’ve learned the rules, there’s freedom in releasing them. And once you’ve allowed yourself to let go, tea becomes beautiful.
You adjust. You trust yourself. You listen to your senses. And suddenly, it feels intuitive rather than intimidating. It becomes a journey. I spent so much time wanting to get everything right. And then I let go. “It’s time.”
Isn’t that the same with life? We study, train, prepare, and second guess ourselves, hoping that one day we’ll feel ready. But at some point, you have to trust what you’ve learned and step forward. Let go of perfection. Be present. And begin.
We all want to know everything. We want to do everything right. Especially in medicine. Especially in life. But sometimes, growth comes from learning deeply, trusting yourself, and allowing yourself to let go. 🫖
